Sacrifice

A friend, previously married, recently mentioned that marriage is all about compromise, and that there comes a point where there is only so much one can compromise.

I couldn't help but give this comment some thought, and though it is in many ways fair and reasonable, in a limited practical world; upon reflection, my spirit, in light of eternity, could not agree with it.

I appreciate that marriage mean many different things to many different people, and that people marry for all sorts of reasons. However, isolating marriage at this high level, I have to say that marriage is much more than compromise - at least for me.

It is sacrifice.

As I was thinking through the differences, what I saw was a fine line between compromise and sacrifice. Subtle, but worlds apart.

Compromise, in essence, focuses on 'I' or 'me', and what 'I' can get from the relationship. It involves reaching a middle ground of sorts, where neither party is willing to give, but willing to co-operate to reach an agreement, so they can move forward for the 'sake of the relationship'.

However, when compromise hits its limits, well, that's when the 'relationship' has no where else to go. And when it reaches this stage, to put it rather bluntly, it was never really about the relationship and the other person in the first place. Honestly.

But sacrifice?

Sacrifice is so much more. It is the willful intent of one party towards the other, and vice versa. It is about what 'I' can give to 'you', regardless of 'me'.

Come what may.

And that, is all the difference in the world.

For better or worse, for richer or poorer...

To bring this in parallel to God, and my relationship with Him. There use to be a real sticking point between us - I never understood why He would sacrifice His life for me. I mean I accepted it, but I couldn't, for the life of me, understand it.

One cannot help, but love the confounding mysteries of God...

In my earlier days, a common prayerful cry had always been,

'but I didn't ask you to sacrifice your life for me!!!'

And His response had always been a soft and simple,

'but I wanted to'.

And when I demanded,

'Whyyyyyyy?!!'

Again His whispered and gentle response to me had always been a simple and plain,

'because I love you and desire relationship with you.'

His response always left me dumbfounded. What was I to say? His actions spoke as loudly as His words.

Over time I've come to see this Love. And learnt that at the heart of relationship, marriage or otherwise, but shown most strongly in marriage, that love is, at the end of the day, my sacrifice to you.

Which brings me to two wonderful verses:

"...Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her..."

- Ephesians 5:25

"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends."

- John 15:13

And my prayer tonight, Lord, teach me to sacrifice as you have sacrificed.

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On a side note, I'm still suffering jet lag. Arriving in Sydney at 10:30am on Thursday morning, and heading straight into work at 1pm is not recommended. If you can help it.

So I really need to head off to bed...

But before I go, I just wanted to say how much I love my brother, and the man he's becoming. I'll definitely miss him when I move out of home.

We had a wonderful chat tonight - catching up, talking about our working day, and the like. Simple, but real.